Staying on my page

I woke up in the wee hours of the night unable to sleep my mind was so busy with racing thoughts. As I lay there trying to collect my thoughts, I see a message from someone close to me.  Their marriage is in turmoil and they have discovered their spouse has been unfaithful.  My heart sinks for the pain they must be feeling.  I feel so helpless.  

For a while I am distracted from my own struggles of feeling left out and disrespected by people closest to me.  I’m surprised how quickly you can feel insignificant to loved ones who once valued your time and energy.  I feel disconnected and this feels sad.  

My morning at work was incredibly busy and I found this to be a great distraction.  Today is therapy day, so I am thrilled to be able to take my energy out on the stairs.  I set a new PR today with 10 flights completed.  By the time I was done I was fatigued and sweaty, just the way I like it. 

I decide to remember what is on my page today. 

God, 

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference. 

I decided to work on being vulnerable and expressing my desires to a friend I’ve been missing.  As the day continues I pour into self care and gratitude.  

I still feel a soft ache in my heart but it less daunting than it was when I awoke.  

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