Proceed with caution

Some days I’m crabby.  Like, really crabby…embarrassingly so.  Even if everything went my way, I would probably find fault on this kind of day.

I noticed upon awaking that I was highly and easily irritated.  Right away, my work day offered lack of routine or a quiet space and I wondered how quickly 8 hours could actually go by.  My buddy was whiny and audibly triggering.  

I spent an hour on the phone with the Florida Board of nursing trying to fix my mistake on my application for my Florida license.  I had to listen to their horrific message detailing all of the possible common solutions, with email instructions spelt out letter by letter…I internally begged for elevator music.  

I must have pressed “0” for operator 100 times repeatedly trying to shut the message up.  Obviously that didn’t work, or help my mood.  I had to wait the automated message out to make my selection.  Someone designed it this way???!  Evil…but genius.  lol

Once I got home from work, I felt like I was in a bit of a better mood, but that didn’t last long.  I realized that the check I thought was deposited and thrown in the trash, was actually rejected due to a missing signature.  Since the money had quickly been removed from that account, that account showed a negative balance.  So…digging through the trash I went.  

Sticking my hands down into the pile of household trash I had accumulated felt like my ‘final straw’.  More than anything, I wanted to go for a hike…but I live in Kansas, so to the gym I went.  I was seeking the really cool treadmill that has a really steep incline.  I decided I would walk at full incline until my crabby attitude went away…no matter how long it took.  I wanted to feel exhausted and sweaty.  

I arrive at the gym and find two of the three treadmills I am seeking, with an ‘Out of Order’ sign…the third one was in use.  That figures...  Off to a normal treadmill I moped. This is how most of my day felt.  Everything just had to be challenging…

Before leaving, I got the urge to hit the leg press machine. Guess again…they are already in use.  In fact, nearly every machine is already in use.  

Freaking resolutioners…I think.  It never fails, every January/February the Y is packed like sardines with people.  Every strength and cardio machine is occupied with newbies….people who committed to an healthier life.  

If they would just stay on their couches, they could save the rest of us gym goers the trouble of not having access to what we want.  Let’s be real…most likely 85% of them are going to give up on their ‘New Year’s fitness goals’ by the end of February.  I despise having to wait in line for a machine.  

I kill 10 minutes on a hip thrust machine, until I can’t do anymore and then I head home. 

The cold air felt refreshing against my reddened and hot cheeks.  Music blaring through my headphones filled my soul with peace, as I silently belt out the lyrics.  MGK for the win today…how did I take this many years to discover him??  He’s fabulous!

As I arrive home, I realize the crabbies went away.  Phew. Finally…I feel open, soft, loving and silly again.  

…I was annoying myself.

To those of you who wanted to talk and got a dial tone, consider yourselves fortunate.  It likely wasn't going to be a good experience for either of us.  For those of you who got through, I apologize for the attitude you likely experienced.    

There will be days like this…I accept myself even on days like this, journal my truth, and have a good laugh at the thoughts that consume me.  Being human is silly sometimes.