self- trust



 "Every day, make a tiny agreement with yourself and follow through with it"

I have this reminder posted on my bathroom mirror and it helps me to focus on the idea that trust starts with me.  If I am unwilling to follow through with my word to myself, how do I expect to excel in this journey of life?

When I think of trust I think of trusting outwardly, trusting my family, kids, partner, coworkers...etc.

I recently discovered that this is a HUGE area of need in my life.  As I learn to self love, validate and affirm myself, I also see the desire to trust.  I desire to trust that I will be there for ME, no matter what I go through.  I am eager to stop abandoning my desires.

As I started to raise my awareness regarding self-trust, it didn't take me long to realize that I could use improvement on my follow through.  For example, today is Sunday.  There is a yoga class at noon I like to go to.   Typically on Sunday when I wake up, I say to myself that I am going to go.  Then when I lay my head down on the pillow at the end of the night, I realize that I did not go to yoga.  

Seems silly, and I think "don't be so hard on yourself girl", but this happens more often than I realize and in multiple areas of my life.  

For so long, I needed others to validate that I was making the 'best' choice, or if I attempted to stand up for myself and received pushback, I coward to doing what 'others' feel or think I can/should.  

Now I am learning to use the phrase What do I want?  What do I need? and then going after it.  

What does it look like to not trust yourself?  

  • You don’t trust your own judgment
  • You think you can only make a decision if others around you agree
  • You’re not able to stand up for yourself
  • You have low self-esteem and lack confidence
  • You always look to other people for the answers
  • You believe everyone else has the answers, but you don’t
  • You put yourself down either in your head or out loud to others
  • You don’t have clear boundaries to protect your physical, mental, and emotional health
  • You never or rarely take the time to look inward
  • You feel uncomfortable spending time alone
  • You’d rather stay busy than sit and reflect on your own thoughts and feelings
* I have set the font to green for the items I have or currently struggle with.  

At the end of the day, do I trust myself to do what I say I will?  To be my first best friend?  No, not at the moment.  

So, what's a girl to do?

1.  Tell myself that I am enough...and start believing it.  

I am enough, just as I am (typing these words immediately brings tears to my eyes, and I feel like throwing up.  I feel I have found the root cause of most of my issues.)
I am enough, just as I am
I am enough, just as I am
I am enough, just as I am
I am enough, just as I am
I am enough, just as I am

2. Work with my feelings, not against them

Admit when I feel sad, insecure, jealous, fearful, unworthy, guilty, angry and offer compassion to myself and a yearning to discover what's behind them.  Is there a hidden desire I should manifest?

3. Tell yourself the truth with compassion

Be honest with myself, but in a compassionate way.  Avoid negative self talk.  Show accountability and make a plan to follow through with my desires, and needs. 

Hey girl, it seems that you are struggling to avoid using food as a mechanism to cope with your feelings.  How about prepping healthy food choices for the week to help stay on track?

4. Set boundaries based on your personal needs

Stop being the 'YES' girl to people around me and be the 'YES' girl to myself.  Why?  Because I am worthy, just as I am.  What?!  I am worthy, just as I am!

5. Spend time alone with yourself

Take time to not only be alone with myself, but enjoy my own company!

I am noticing that this journey is not a simple one, but a VERY worthwhile one.  I am grateful for the willingness to take an honest inventory of my struggles and the desire to work on learning healthier pathways.  

Thanks God for creating this amazing girl...she's pretty AMAZDA!  💗




https://fearlessliving.org/how-to-trust-yourself-and-build-true-self-confidence/

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