Freedom
I am preparing for a new chapter in my life. A chapter in which I will truly have the freedom to choose my own path. Since as far back as I can remember I built my life around what other people needed from me. I have served the role of ‘mom’ for 20 years. Now I will be stepping into Amanda- who honestly, I should have always invested in.
This idea of freedom both excited and terrifies me.
I am at a job that no longer serves me, in fact it robs my joy. Yet, I am too afraid to leave.
I do not have friends to engage with on the weekends. My weekends are very isolating and lonely.
My kids are growing up and finding their ways in life: they no longer need their mom to take care of them.
My family is dispersed all over the country…I do not have extended family nearby.
I think about all of these things and I reflect back on what I CAN control. In each one of these situations there is a me element that I can invest my time and energy into.
The idea of truly being free is new…and this is what causes the uncomfortable feeling. New does not have to mean bad…
I can’t keep hiding and running from the reality this new chapter brings me. It’s happening.
What I do with it is completely up to me. Time to lean in…
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