Freedom

I am preparing for a new chapter in my life.  A chapter in which I will truly have the freedom to choose my own path.  Since as far back as I can remember I built my life around what other people needed from me.  I have served the role of ‘mom’ for 20 years.  Now I will be stepping into Amanda- who honestly, I should have always invested in.  

This idea of freedom both excited and terrifies me. 

I am at a job that no longer serves me, in fact it robs my joy.  Yet, I am too afraid to leave.  

I do not have friends to engage with on the weekends.  My weekends are very isolating and lonely.  

My kids are growing up and finding their ways in life: they no longer need their mom to take care of them.  

My family is dispersed all over the country…I do not have extended family nearby. 

I think about all of these things and I reflect back on what I CAN control.  In each one of these situations there is a me element that I can invest my time and energy into. 

The idea of truly being free is new…and this is what causes the uncomfortable feeling.  New does not have to mean bad…

I can’t keep hiding and running from the reality this new chapter brings me.  It’s happening.  

What I do with it is completely up to me.  Time to lean in…

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